7dec2014,
this is about 95 onwards, that's nearly 20 years ago. it seems like nothings happened, and a lot has happened since. i just glanced through that other 90s blog. i don't know exactly what i wrote, i just thought, did i write that. around that time i picked up the guitar , for the umpteenth time. i sort of got ok there for a bit, a few dodgy chords but you just keep going. around 95, i was interested in solar power. i started a tech course in electrical trades. at that time there was no interest in solar , only old hippies were into that, although there was solar hot water. it was what industry was interested in, and solar wasn't it. there was more interest in coal and hydro. with me i just done about 10 months of tech , before getting a job in the theater .
12dec2014,
to tell the truth , the nineties compared them other earlier decades, the nineties had nothing in my opinion. it was the catchup and retro decade. then there was windows 95, at which at that time , i knew fuck all. it was big on telly news when it came out. i remember the glad wrap machine pumping them out ,on the conveyor belt. at that time i was doing a module called computers in engineering, as part of the electric trades. i had no interest in computers at that time, solar man, on deaf ears. when i look back at that class and time, it was mainly year 12 (6th form in my currency) couldn't get a job, couldn't get into uni, gen x. the computers in engineering class was pretty much infancy. we all got a floppy disk to muck about with. pre used floppy disks, one had a black white 800kb porn thing called mandy or something, now called a gif, well sort of. i gave them young guys names like girlie, brain wave , cutlet and ball bearing head. girlie got the mandy disk. i flunked the c.i.e. module due to leaving for the theatre job. brain wave was right into the internet outside of tech, them guys sort of grew up with computers at school and what not, i had the bricks. at that time brain waves fav site was kurt cobains body on the net.
13dec2014,
done some thinking about that time, that being 1995. for me it's one of them times when you just want to get on with something , like ideas. with the electrical trades thing, the idea was to learn and do the solar. i stuck it out for 10 months or so, the difference between then and before, before if you had some qualification, like the bit of paper, you could get a job no trouble. but, then around 95, with them gen x or whatever guys. they'd line up for some crummy macdonalds job. actually , i think some did work there. when i left there a few landed apprenticeships, cutlet ended up commuting to sydney to some coil winding thing. brain wave, who i thought quite smart , i seen him not long after i left. he said he was coloured blind and couldn't read the resistor colours. i thought that was a cop out. when i think about a few things happened around that time. i got busted with a small amount of pot, 3.2 grams of shit leave, what i would call kif, they called it cannabis leaf. that was a real setback at that time. i was doing it tough as it was, then i get hit with this $264 fine and 1 month to pay, that was hard, money ways. it was the old 2 steps forward, it was around this time that i felt karma coming in.
14dec2014,
karma, curse or whatever, what the fuck is that shit, you get the idea , no cunt wants to know. then some other dickhead ... well you know that story. with me , i couldn't care the least about fame and that. it's more about getting out of the rut, normality and self sufficiency. that was the main interest in the solar. the guitar was mainly something i put off , cause of no time. the reason i left the tech, was i got this, 6 month government funded thing, some electronic thing . you did a month crash course, then you had to go round and get a placement helping out and the government paid a bit extra money, not a full wage though, probably two thirds. the solar thing wasn't happening with the tech thing. i trumped the crash course, just done that shit at tech. with the placement, that was a hassle.that's were the theatre comes in.
16dec2014,
with the placement , which i didn't like for several reasons. the main being the pay , you're doing the same job as the other bloke and he's getting a proper wage. your less getting government funded starvation wages. that was the start of the downhill really hitting in, the real downhill started around 1981, it depends on who and where you are really. i meet this guy, through this woman , he worked at the theatre, that's where the idea came from.. i got an interview, and got the placement , which was sort of okay, it was and still is day by day existence. like, in my mind was the solar thing. sometime in between the bust and the theatre , i did the move from private to public, housing that is. another public housing tenant.
29jan2015,
it's been a fair while since i wrote here, it might take a bit to get back into this space, seeing it's one that one trys to get out of . i'm watching leonard cohen 1970 isle of wight, the relevance is, if i didn't mention before, i got into his stuff in the nineties part one, i actually learnt suzanne from a neighbour's book , before the move into public housing, around 92 something. it was one of the first songs i could play from go to yo, till it got boring. i couldn't play it today, although i play better now. i learnt, that even playing others story well, it wasn't mine. i played that song for a few months in the nineties, i can't remember how the chords went then, but i remember the lyrics ok. that book had different chords to his songbook, but it worked ok. it was strange how i got into that stuff, and the crowd that followed. that crowd were right into lenny, art crowd. before the move, i had learned about 40 songs, mainly dylan. again this didn't feel right. it was turning into a dylan rut, i was trying to get out of it. it was like john lennon said about playing acoustic, everything's mr dylan. there was always burl ives. with the move , the vibe was different, the visitors were reluctant to visit the bad end of church street. with working at the theatre , i came home not really interested in playing guitar. with the theatre, i made a few sets and things, done a few shows. i never really fitted in with those people, it's all learning really.
1feb2015,
moving on from the theatre , which i lasted 6 or so months. i probably could of lasted longer and took it further. i just didn't fit in, although, i did stir it up a bit. after doing 9 years as a platelayer, there is a slight difference. trying to settle in to housing department, had a few sides. i thought if i had it in the 80's, i probably would have saved and still been platelaying. one bloke , reckoned it was like russia, i knew what he meant. the guitar was disappearing, it's true if you don't use it you lose it, ie suzanne. another side , from the first night, i felt some kind of presence . like people walking in the ceiling and it was like the walls were thin. the idea was to stay for a year or so, till things improved. there was definitely some kind of something going on, at night . when i think about it now, before i moved my stuff. me and this girl, i knew from a long time, was hanging out with a neighbour up the other end, where i lived . we checked out the flat, she told me she lived in a house that was there before, dept of housing built the flats in 1986. she said some spooky shit happen there. now, i can't quite remember what she told me about it, but she said it was freaky and they moved out real quick like. i just thought i'll be right and brushed it off. then things started going pop, things went missing only to turn up later, insects appeared in mid air when there was nothing there, hazy thick air. i told her later about that spooky place. she said, i told you and told me to move.
2feb2015
strange, i thought about me and that girl checking out the flat. she pops up every now and again, i'll have to ask her about her experience again. you know, i don't really like talking about that stuff much. it says in the Bible not to boast about these things, for they shall return, stronger. one time, this other friend, gave me this pinball top, someone gave to her. actually she gave me two. they were just the board out of the machine. they came from enmore, she said a guy bought them for like $10. i wouldn't have minded the whole machine. anyways, i gave one away and kept the other as an ornament. i was trying to think how the numbers were on the screen of the machine. i started to write the numbers down and strongly thinking how they were lined up. then the presence turned up, like a demon or something popped out of the board. very strong it was, the tap in the kitchen started running, keys fell on the floor from the table, when i went to look , they were on the table. there was a clicking noise in the ceiling , as i went close , it moved away to the corner and went. i thought it might have been the years of drugs catching up. when i really thought about it, nothing like that had ever happened in many years of getting stoned. up until that point i was skeptical about the pops and noise synchronisms, the trouble here they happened on a very regular basis.
3feb2015,
the God thing had been pushed upon me since 1963. then from 1971 till 75,76, i couldn't have been farther away from it, but there's always the background or unconscious, sub being below, so the word is unconscious. it will probably pop up in other blogs passed or future. by 1976 , i was in a state of repentance, i just couldn't kick the cigs, man. maybe a few other things aswell , you could say semi repentance. so, with this poltergeist stuff, i had a few defences on my side, or i thought i did. night time seemed to be the main time, also when you were alone, mostly. with my defence , which was my own concoction of prayer, worked okay for a bit. i found the trouble was , when you've got a complex, say lots of flats, the thing just moves on to some other vacant flat, you never really get rid of the thing, for awhile there it had fucked off somewhere else. so, i've put up the john peel world service shows , this would have around this time, as was the little richard thing. i remember having the first tape at the theatre. it's hard figuring out the time period exactly, i did do a few casual things at the theatre, after the placement thing. after the time at the theatre, probably just on the dole, in a rut, depressed going nowhere . started doing a thing called a job club. it was job hunting thing to get you motivated into getting back into the workforce. it was a 6 month thing as i remember. they're mainly retrenched public servants , given the job to help others get into jobs that didn't really exist.
6feb2015,
i guess it's pretty obvious, why i didn't really feel like writing this blog. this time from 97 to 2000 , nothing much happened on the job front. i did think about doing an electronic trades course, i even enrolled as i remember, but didn't feel up to it at that time. the solar thing never happened. the idea was to get into something different by 40. as 40 approached , i reckon i became more reclusive . they changed the dole setup, by closing the c.e.s. (commonwealth employment service), saying it wasn't functional anymore. with doing that, the unemployed became cash cows for the private government funded employment services. the one i was assigned to, reckon i was suffering depression, more like recession. the town was full of ,to let signs. the rents were just to high and have been . their (the machine) solution is to demolish the shops and build monstrosities and put the rents up or bring in overseas players as a band aid solution. with me, i just wanted to fuck off from it, it wasn't far to the park bench for some, at least i had a roof over my head. the flat was like a different world, the pops and shit happened still , you just got use to it. but like a dripping tap it could be very annoying.
9feb 2015,
i never seen myself as born again or so called. my view about the subject , was just that, my view. people i hung out with, were basically worldly. i hung out in the arvo , up the shopping mall, with some old foes from a.a. (alcoholics anonymous) . after their meeting , we'd meet up and have coffee and yarn. i got to meet a few a.a. old cogders, a few have since passed on. i never hung at them places much, before. probably just get a milk shake or cigs or whatever, never really hung there much. the place was packed from 12 say, til 2. then it quieted down after . the a.a meetings finished at 3 . we'd hang there til 4.30 or more. this became a regular rountine. i got to see all the low lifes and nutters, and hear about them. where are they now? no one gives a fuck. i rarely see any of them nowadays, saying that , i'll probably see someone tomorrow. as i write this, i think about one dude in particular, i dubbed him the paddle pop lion, he used to stand outside a supermarket in the complex eating a can of fish with a paddle pop stick. i don't think these behaviors were drug induced , although some may have been. i knew lots of them type of people when i was young, we just called them backward, although some were just spastics . among the crowd was the born again , so called, assembly of God christians. most of which were on some kind of benefit . i sort of had some respect for them at that time. it was a bit like coming out, something i couldn't do, on the christian front that is. like i said earlier i had my view, i knew not much of their church or that.
10feb2015,
there was a hippy artist who i used to visit some nights, i used to go for night walks, mainly as exercise. that's where the pinball board came from, she was right into cohen. we sort of became friends, although from slightly different scenes. i knew a lot of different scenes around the place since the seventies, you could say every nook and cranny, and i don't mean fanny. she's since past, R.I.P. so have many others. a few of the born agains i knew way back in the seventies. they had me go to a tent meeting once i remember at an oval, like a circus tent, i just went to have a look, a lot of young guys there mainly. one guy that used to visit me and hung with us in the arvo, used to smoke a lot of pot and do mushrooms. i picked him up hitch hiking , maybe late 80s early 90s, he was still doing the same old from the 70's. i told him why doesn't he snap out of it , and get into Jesus or something. then, around 91, something i seen him in the street, he looked different. i offered him a hit of a joint, he said no. i just thought wow, that's different, he said he found the Lord. i was happy about that. later on into the near future, i asked myself if it was really a good thing. some people can go over the top with it. that's what i meant earlier on.
21feb2015
i think the judgement of them so calleds , their very quick to pass it on others, but can't see themselves. doesn't do them any favours. there's a very fine line on living in the spirit and a worldly existence. as the year 2000 approached , i decided to have a good clean out. a nun in 1968 said the world would end in the year 2000, this played a lot in my mind. i think a lot of other people thought the world would end or something around that time , ie y2k. i asked that guy for a prayer to read , i could use to help with my deliverance. he said you can't do it on your own, blah, blah. i said don't worry then. the main reason , i think, i wasn't happy how things had turned out really, cunts were still running the world, no end, thanks jarvis. so, if the world did end, i would have done a bit of repentance to help out, a bit like the crash course. i had little interest in most people and their worldly existence, deaf ears, i tried. save yourself.
25feb2015
about a week or so, after asking him for the prayer, surprisingly he came up with the goods. a bit of paper with some words, it was called the sinners prayer. i said, i'd give it a look. i still had the ghost problem, and thought the prayer might came in handy, on them nights . as i remember around that time, there was a bit of weird shit happening around the place. i can't really remember and don't want to, the exact weirdness , i just remember there was. sometime before all this, i used to go to things , like art openings and things similar, some though the hippy woman. one such thing was at her place , where i met one of her friends, another hippy a few years older than her, i thought she was okay looking for her age. another occasion the three of us went to this do up the mountain, an arty farty exhibition at an artists womens place. so, getting back to the prayer, i decided to give it a go, maybe use it to clean up.
28feb2015
now you can see why i split the nineties into parts. so, i gave the prayer a go, skeptical sort of. after a couple of days, i got a phone call from the hippy woman i met . she wanted to come round with her guitar, i said okay. after a while, she turns up with all this stuff, too much. she was interested in a dylan song , i want you. i played it for her, she couldn't get the b flat chord , although i felt or knew she played much better than me. she just couldn't get that chord, i couldn't believe she couldn't get it. after, she pulls out this book and starts reading this stuff, dark shit. it wasn't a good time to hear that stuff. in my head i was just praying, and started sweating, i didn't like it. witchy woman, after that she picked up all her things and left. i felt like there was some kind of battle there happening. a couple of days after that, i got up and had a cig. i froze like i couldn't move, like my spirit had left my body. and that's where the nineties ends. and so begins the battle for the soul.
1march2015
i was going to end this blog there , but i did a google on that book she read . http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27243.Dancing_in_the_Flames "click here". now you can see the battle i had.
