30march2015
after doing that nineties blog i needed to put a kink in between blogs. then came the title, the battle for the soul, though appropriate , didn't really feel right. that was the main reason for the kink, among others. others being the space in which i'd have to revisit . in actual fact that space hasn't gone anyway it's all relevant, as is the past. it's the strength of now in which we deal with it. i thought about calling it after the woman that read the book, but that would be a bit of an ego trip on her behalf. like most ideas things come from dreamtime, so that's where the title came from , a dream. i think it fits fine.
1april2015
today was april fools day, maybe i was being foolish , thinking i could just say a prayer and there wouldn't be any consequence. as things were building up around the place. i can't remember exactly what weird shit happened around the place, but there was a number of strange incidents, as per the usual creepy shit. i'm not quite sure what the initial idea was. even now a lot things have happened, since then say 98 or 99. so i say the prayer , i know somethings gonna happen. i'm gonna push this thing until something does. if not, i'm still gonna know i been through something. a few days later the woman rings up, comes round with a this stuff, the big hippy bag with whatever they believe inside. so i told her there was weird shit happening lately. she seemed undeterred by that. she began reading her belief . it didn't go down to well with what i was about at that time. while she was reading, in my head i was praying. i felt like she was setting me on fire. any other time it probably would have just gone over my head, and just brush it off as bullshit. i think, because i was doing my own thing. there was some kind of reaction.
4april2015
i think we had a smoke, not quite sure about that. i think i just saw that as a setback, as well as the reading stuff. i thought i'd get stoned and start later on the clean up. at the time i thought not a lot about, the two things , me saying prayers and the woman visiting. there was lust on my part, what's new, excepting she was 10 years older than me. very much the hippy gypsy. after she left , i got some phones calls from her, i should of sussed something out, the power of the pouch, naively blind. after a couple of days the fun really began.
6april2015
so, i woke up ,made coffee and lit up a cig. as soon as i took a drag, i froze . froze? froze like nothing else. the cig just smoldered away in my fingers. after a real struggle i managed to get to my feet. i looked in the mirror and i saw death. when i say death, i mean spiritless. i thought i'd push the cigs a little too far and long. for some reason i said the prayer , and i started to feel better. i looked in the mirror and seen i was getting back to normal. after a while i lit up another cig, the same thing happened. again i said the prayer and i got normal. i started thinking what the fuck was going on. then i remember the woman reading incident , i thought shes put some kind of spell on me. i was in a state, maybe manic. fell into temptation. don't know. the prayer worked though
7april2015
after thinking for awhile about what was going on, was it some kind of breakdown, maybe the cigs. being a bit of a chain smoker, not that much, but pretty heavy over the years. even without smoking the cigs, the spirit started leaving my body and i'd start to freeze, not cold but motionless . saying the prayer was a life source , it became like a bottle of oxygen. it was weird , even thinking about stuff and the spirit would start leaving. it became smoke a cig , then say the prayer.
8april2015
so there you've had a glimpse. i obviously came good, or i wouldn't be typing this. good or bad who's to say. all i can say at this point in time, is i came this far, in losing it completely. how far, it doesn't matter, this far, that far. you lost it, you lost it.
Monday, March 30, 2015
Monday, March 2, 2015
wollongong
3march2015
you know you gotta be born somewhere, that ain't my fault. the story as i heard it. on my 21st birthday , the old boy told a story about him , my granddad and an aboriginal bloke by the name of bryant, were up kembla bowling club , drinking and playing pokies. they made a tape of the story and gave it to me. it's long gone, i wasn't real interested in it at that time, one or two listens. i don't know what happened to that tape, probably taped over or lost. i found the bit about the club interesting, me and a few friends used to go to that club in the seventies, probably even played them machines. they were the old machines around, not many people knew about that club, kembla heights bowling club. now we're talking 1958, in them days when the pub shut at whatever, on saturdays they could go up the bowling club and drink and whatever they did in them days. i remember the old boy saying they were playing the dinars, dinars was slang term for a shilling, i remember them dodgy old machines still up there. i was born at 5 am, at wollongong.
6march2015
although i was born in wollongong, my recollections are somewhat vague. mainly because i lived in another suburb. i've been thinking a tiny bit about my earliest memories. the earliest probably was going to the dump at night. wollongong had a dump pretty close to the city, although it's still a dump it's since been turn into a refuse dump, whatever that means. back then , early sixties , it was just a free dump. i remember all the rats eyes shining in the lights of the car, that was the highlight. there's probably bits and bits that pop up in thought now and then. like, a shop that sold gifts and things, i got one of them coffin money boxes with the hand that comes out and grabs the coin, and the smoking monkey with them paper cigs. a time that i remember was a, had too be there things. car had flat battery , mother and sister had to push , clutch start , car takes off, had to do a few laps to find them, it was raining and they were on someones porch. my mother said, do i remember that. the old mans reaction was very homeresk , you know homer simpson.
7march2015
i tend not to think to much about them early days, but things pop up as i walk the streets. for instance, i remember we used to line up along this brick fence, waiting to go to the town hall for some estedford thing. we used to just be able to grab the top and pull yourself up , and peer over at the codgers playing bowls, i don't know what it is with this blog and bowling clubs. now the fence is about chest height. i went to the movie theatre a bit i can't really remember much , a few disney things maybe, they used to stand for God save the Queen, but that was phasing out as i got older. there was the occasional visit someone at the hospital , muck around up and down in the elevators while waiting for visiting hours, beat the elevator run up the steps, shit like that. a favourite shop window where you did the axis of symmetry trick , and other people looked down the glass and laugh . every year there was shows around the place, still is in some places. the wollongong show is now defunct. it used to run from thursday to sunday in october, just a smaller version of the royal easter show in sydney.
8march2015
this is mainly just to get away from that other stuff for a time. i got more to say about the show, that'll come later. i thought wollongong meant meeting or market place in an aboriginal language. then i thought it was canberra that meant that. luckily , i got the trusty, the readers digest great encyclopedia dictionary. their got wollongong :- see, the monster comes!. really? i also looked up canberra :- women's breasts , meeting place. now i know why the place is full of tits. most people know capt. cook stopped at botany bay in 1770, that's 18 years before the first fleet. on the 25th of april, that's anzac day, capt. cook sailed past wollongong. as they sailed up the coast , they named places in their journal. a place that is still called that to this day is red point, among other places. i sometimes think it would be good to have a time machine and travel back to that day and watch them sail past.
12march2015
if you haven't figured out by now, this is more of a before and after, not so much reminiscing, more of a feeling.
16march2015
that was short, i could go on about before, till the cows come home, and after the bull shits. like the show, the first night, thursday, they might have bands, just the opening night some acts or something in the entertainment vein . one i remember, although i was just that bit young to go the thursday night, they had the wrestling on, world championship wrestling, then. people like brute barnard , skull murphy, mario milano, king curtis and so on. a couple of louts spat at king curtis and he chased them all the way up crown st. i just heard the stories at school. the show had boxing tents and strip tease type tents . i got to go in the strip tease tent with a neighbour , her daughter and my sister , i just tagged along. they were the only girls in the audience. i think they just wanted to see what happened. a woman done the feather bit, when she got down to just panty hose, with the horny vibe from the audience, they left taking me with them, i never got to see the map of tasmania.. there was a couple of them tents one called bubbles as i remember. i was about 10 or 11. a kid reckoned they had them tents down narooma show too. he said they had a bloke out the front saying see nana in the nude, see nana in the nude. when they went in the bloke peeled a banana.
25march2015
you get the idea, i think it's time to move on. without repeating what of i've already said previously . today i went into town , 4pm. okay it was raining , but what a fucking ghost town. they fucked the place. no bullshit. any time in the last 45 years you could go into town at 4pm there be some sort of something.
you know you gotta be born somewhere, that ain't my fault. the story as i heard it. on my 21st birthday , the old boy told a story about him , my granddad and an aboriginal bloke by the name of bryant, were up kembla bowling club , drinking and playing pokies. they made a tape of the story and gave it to me. it's long gone, i wasn't real interested in it at that time, one or two listens. i don't know what happened to that tape, probably taped over or lost. i found the bit about the club interesting, me and a few friends used to go to that club in the seventies, probably even played them machines. they were the old machines around, not many people knew about that club, kembla heights bowling club. now we're talking 1958, in them days when the pub shut at whatever, on saturdays they could go up the bowling club and drink and whatever they did in them days. i remember the old boy saying they were playing the dinars, dinars was slang term for a shilling, i remember them dodgy old machines still up there. i was born at 5 am, at wollongong.
6march2015
although i was born in wollongong, my recollections are somewhat vague. mainly because i lived in another suburb. i've been thinking a tiny bit about my earliest memories. the earliest probably was going to the dump at night. wollongong had a dump pretty close to the city, although it's still a dump it's since been turn into a refuse dump, whatever that means. back then , early sixties , it was just a free dump. i remember all the rats eyes shining in the lights of the car, that was the highlight. there's probably bits and bits that pop up in thought now and then. like, a shop that sold gifts and things, i got one of them coffin money boxes with the hand that comes out and grabs the coin, and the smoking monkey with them paper cigs. a time that i remember was a, had too be there things. car had flat battery , mother and sister had to push , clutch start , car takes off, had to do a few laps to find them, it was raining and they were on someones porch. my mother said, do i remember that. the old mans reaction was very homeresk , you know homer simpson.
7march2015
i tend not to think to much about them early days, but things pop up as i walk the streets. for instance, i remember we used to line up along this brick fence, waiting to go to the town hall for some estedford thing. we used to just be able to grab the top and pull yourself up , and peer over at the codgers playing bowls, i don't know what it is with this blog and bowling clubs. now the fence is about chest height. i went to the movie theatre a bit i can't really remember much , a few disney things maybe, they used to stand for God save the Queen, but that was phasing out as i got older. there was the occasional visit someone at the hospital , muck around up and down in the elevators while waiting for visiting hours, beat the elevator run up the steps, shit like that. a favourite shop window where you did the axis of symmetry trick , and other people looked down the glass and laugh . every year there was shows around the place, still is in some places. the wollongong show is now defunct. it used to run from thursday to sunday in october, just a smaller version of the royal easter show in sydney.
8march2015
this is mainly just to get away from that other stuff for a time. i got more to say about the show, that'll come later. i thought wollongong meant meeting or market place in an aboriginal language. then i thought it was canberra that meant that. luckily , i got the trusty, the readers digest great encyclopedia dictionary. their got wollongong :- see, the monster comes!. really? i also looked up canberra :- women's breasts , meeting place. now i know why the place is full of tits. most people know capt. cook stopped at botany bay in 1770, that's 18 years before the first fleet. on the 25th of april, that's anzac day, capt. cook sailed past wollongong. as they sailed up the coast , they named places in their journal. a place that is still called that to this day is red point, among other places. i sometimes think it would be good to have a time machine and travel back to that day and watch them sail past.
12march2015
if you haven't figured out by now, this is more of a before and after, not so much reminiscing, more of a feeling.
16march2015
that was short, i could go on about before, till the cows come home, and after the bull shits. like the show, the first night, thursday, they might have bands, just the opening night some acts or something in the entertainment vein . one i remember, although i was just that bit young to go the thursday night, they had the wrestling on, world championship wrestling, then. people like brute barnard , skull murphy, mario milano, king curtis and so on. a couple of louts spat at king curtis and he chased them all the way up crown st. i just heard the stories at school. the show had boxing tents and strip tease type tents . i got to go in the strip tease tent with a neighbour , her daughter and my sister , i just tagged along. they were the only girls in the audience. i think they just wanted to see what happened. a woman done the feather bit, when she got down to just panty hose, with the horny vibe from the audience, they left taking me with them, i never got to see the map of tasmania.. there was a couple of them tents one called bubbles as i remember. i was about 10 or 11. a kid reckoned they had them tents down narooma show too. he said they had a bloke out the front saying see nana in the nude, see nana in the nude. when they went in the bloke peeled a banana.
25march2015
you get the idea, i think it's time to move on. without repeating what of i've already said previously . today i went into town , 4pm. okay it was raining , but what a fucking ghost town. they fucked the place. no bullshit. any time in the last 45 years you could go into town at 4pm there be some sort of something.
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